Last visit to Gynae

On 10 Dec, I went for my check up, praying sooooo hard that baby has turned down cos the last visit showed that he is still in upright position, despite me trying all sorts of exercise to make him turned :(

Well, upon scanning, showed that he has NOT turned.. gynae said that baby is "stubbornly upright" hehehe... I am disappointed cos that will mean that I cannot go for a natural delivery! I so badly wanted it! Dr Tan advised that I should go ahead with c-section, there is no way that he will turn at this late stage (I am coming to week 38) and scheduled the ops to be done in 2 days time! OMG I wasn't mentally prepared manz~ Although my EDD is 19 Dec which is about a weeks' away, she wouldn't recommend that I wait until then, however final decision is still on me.

After some quick thinking, we agreed to fix the op on 12 Dec (Tue) and I opt for an epidural pain-relief, so that I can be awake to see my baby when he's carried out. Though my gynae warned me about the risk involved, I was quite sure this is what I want (I think) But I am scared too.. what if I am in bad luck :O Anyway, we left this option open before we leave the clinic. I still have 1.5 days to think about it.

After we left the clinic, we went to have dinner at the chicken stall along novena road, I was sms-ing my friends to inform them of THE DAY, when I got emotional - I started tearing!! I was soooooo devasted that I have to go for c-section eventually and not have natual delivery, which is better for both the mummy and baby. I felt like I am not giving him the best! And I got worried about the risk of epidural etc.. All negative thoughts started sinking in!

Hubby consoled me, saying that going for GA does not mean not able to see our baby, just later. He understands that I badly wants to hear baby's 1st cry and carry him when he's out but... he's leaving the BIG decision to me.

At night, in fact for the next night too, I could not sleep well. All anxious and worried and happy at the same time about Wed's op. Hubby and I were weighing the pros and cons. Also with such big tummy, I have trouble turning and sleeping already. By now, I have put on about 12kg. The itch on my tummy is killing me, I can't bear to see the stretch mark which has appeared.. haiz.. talk about prevention! The weight pressing on my bladder makes me want to pee frequently too.