Reading : Your 26-month-old toddler (week 110)

By Shelley Feldman, edHelperBaby

The Laws and Lessons of Successful Parenting

This is the month when you need to dig deep within, and be the most patient, loving, creative, humorous, enthusiastic and "in-tune" parent imaginable. The most important skill that you must now perfect, is to teach your toddler how to be the best little person he can be, while simultaneously extinguishing his negative behaviors and boosting his ego along the way. As you can imagine...this can be quite a feat. Everything that you do with your toddler right now will impact his development, for better and for worse, so make every second count and enjoy each moment that the two of you share.

There are several simple "laws" that may help guide you towards being a more successful parent, and they are also wonderful lessons to teach your toddler that will last a lifetime.

- Law number one is to remember that everything and anything is possible. As soon as a parent begins to think they can't...they don't and won't.

- Law number two, treat others (including your children) how you would like to be treated yourself, and do nice things for people solely for the sake of doing nice things.

- Number three, think before you act, however don't think too much that you get stuck in your thoughts, and don't be frightened to let your heart just lead the way sometimes.

- Law number four says that it's alright to take chances and go out on a limb...life is a journey and sometimes the best lessons occur when you least expect it.

- And lastly, law number five...everyone has a purpose and a lesson to teach, so be sure to keep your eyes, ears and heart open because the greatest teachers often come in the smallest of packages, and he is probably standing right in front of you, or hanging on your leg.

Building Your Toddler's Self-Esteem

Although your child's self-esteem may appear to wax-and-wane with life's typical ups-and-downs, she is beginning to develop a positive or negative "attitude" about herself along the way. From the first moment that your toddler realizes you love her just because she merely exists in this world, her self-esteem begins to flourish. This unconditional and unwavering feeling of love is the foundation on which your toddler's feelings about herself will continue to grow. You have been provided with an amazing opportunity to really make a difference in the future, so give it your all.

Because you are the essential component in the development of your toddler's self-esteem, there are many things that you can do to make a difference in a positive way. To start, be very aware of how you approach your toddler when you talk. Often at this age, actions speak much louder than words, so get in touch with your posture, tone of voice and facial expressions before you have a heart-to-heart or just want to get your little one's attention.

Secondly, by simply spending time...quality time...with your toddler, you are drastically improving and reinforcing her self-esteem. In fact, it is recommended that you spend at least 1 hour on the floor playing with your child at this age, even if it's just "hanging out" and not "doing" anything. Sometimes as parents we get so caught up in going places and seeing things, that we often forget how to keep things simple and just "be."

Lastly, show respect for your toddler's feelings, listen carefully to her needs, and give her an opportunity to express her opinions. This is not saying that you should not set limits and she should not follow your rules, but it will reinforce that her thoughts and desires are valid...just not always appropriate or timed very well.

This month, your toddler is starting to finally believe that she is capable of doing things once thought insurmountable. Furthermore, she is slowly beginning to prepare herself to step outside her safety zone and explore the world. Right now, her self-esteem is on the rise and she feels more powerful than ever, so use this as an opportunity to teach her how to channel all of her energy in a healthy way.

Have you begun to wonder...
Why is it important to be a "playful parent"?

Playing with your toddler is an essential component of being a parent, and it is during this time that some of life's most valuable lessons will be learned. By joining your 26-month-old in her little world, you will both be able to connect with one another on a completely different level than that which occurs during other interactions.

Roughhousing, goofing-around, and letting your toddler take the lead will not only re-affirm the bond that already exists between the two of you, but it will also pave the way to tackle emotional difficulties, or any other bumpy patches that the two of you may encounter as she grows up.

After spending a little time with your toddler down on her level, you may learn a thing or two about your toddler that you didn't know before, and you may even have to re-think your disciplining techniques after figuring out what really makes her tick. Life takes on a whole new perspective from 3 feet off the ground, and what you thought was working may need a little tweaking once you get down there.

Finally, being a more playful parent is a wonderful way to break away from the seriousness of the world that faces us every time we step out the front door. There is no better cure for a rough day at work, or a difficult day at home with the kids than shaking your sillies out, so go ahead-sit on the floor, and laugh.

Reading : Your 23-month-old toddler (week 97)

By Shelley Feldman, edHelperBaby

Misbehaving and Limit-testing
Have you heard about the terrible twos? If not, this month I would like to introduce you to the abridged version. If you haven't already been provided with a glimpse into what life with a two-year-old can be like, you will be privy to a few sneak peeks this month. Over the course of the next few months, you can expect an increase in "misbehavior," so prepare for your toddler to push everything to the limit (especially your patience). This "difficult" stage is a very normal transition period that most toddlers will go through and come out unscathed, so think of it like a "hazing" period that everyone must go through, and at the end you will be able to reap the benefits of a well-adjusted and happy child.

Poor impulse control can wreak havoc on your little one's mind this month, as he feels frustrated by his inability to stop himself from doing things before it's too late. Right now, your little one continues to struggle between dependence and independence, and he has become increasingly aware of his limitations, insight which frustrates him to no end.

This month, expect your toddler to become increasingly expressive regarding his likes and dislikes, specifically regarding food, clothing, toys and especially people. As your toddler becomes more aware of his individuality, expect resistance, defiance and the word "no," to be shouted in your direction on more than one occasion. Right now your toddler wants to test his power in order to be certain that everyone knows just how important he is, and for the most part you'll be right in the line of fire.

On a more positive note, this is also the month when you can expect to laugh more than you ever have, and love the little person that your baby is becoming more and more every day.


Re-direction And Discipline
When you do witness your toddler acting in an inappropriate manner, direct her to act in a more acceptable way. When you see her becoming pushy, encourage her to be "gentle," and state how you would like her behavior to change in a calm and quiet voice, instead of matching her raucous behavior with a loud tone. Always remember to praise your toddler when she is acting appropriately on her own, and keep in mind that it is important to catch her being good so you can reinforce the positive. Sometimes your toddler is completely unaware that her behavior has crossed the line, and all she needs is a little nudge from you to get her back on the right track.

Although this can be a difficult time for parents, be patient, then establish and stick to the rules that have been decided upon in your household. Be sure that your toddler understands what the rules are, and explain them in a simple manner as many times as necessary in order to get your point across. Lastly, emphasize to your toddler that the rules in your house are not arbitrary but have a purpose, because children this age tend to follow rules more carefully when they are given an explanation as to why they have been put there to begin with.

When disciplining your toddler, be sure to use her mistakes as lessons to learn from, not as a means to make her feel badly about herself. In essence, discipline your child because of her behavior, and be sure it is clear that it is her behavior you are unhappy with, not her.

Also, be sure that you make your expectations, boundaries and limits clear, and be as consistent as possible with your actions. A toddler who is receiving mixed messages regarding what she can and cannot do, in combination with unpredictable consequences for her behavior is a guaranteed combination for disaster.

Self-Esteem
Your toddler's self-esteem determines whether or not he "likes, accepts, and respects" himself, and the biggest challenge every parent must face right now is helping your child to excel in this area. Over the past few months, your toddler has begun to form a clearer picture of himself including his likes and dislikes, however he is actually still quite unsure of who he is. It is your job to reinforce the amount of love that you have for your toddler, and equally important to let him know that you accept him entirely, for better and for worse.

Studies show that a child who learns and believes that he is a "good person" at an early age, is actually more likely to believe in himself as an adolescent and adult. A child who believes in himself also finds it unnecessary to impress others, or receive "approval" from peers. He can also better handle peer-pressure, and has an easier time staying away from destructive behavior, like drug and alcohol use, later in life.

Although building up your toddler's self-esteem is actually a job that he must do himself, it will go much more smoothly with a little guidance from you. In order to begin paving the way for a bright future, let your toddler know when he is doing a good job, reinforce his successes and not his failures, and thank him for helping others. Tell your little one how to do things, instead of teaching him how not to do things, and listen to what he has to say. Also, be sure that your toddler knows that he is important, and that he has a very special place in this world.

This unconditional positive regard, or "no-strings-attached" type of love, is an essential message that your toddler must hear often, and believe fully at a very early age. No matter what he does, from one extreme to the next, he needs to know that you are right there with him for the ride, and that he is loved without question. It is a basic human need to feel accepted and liked, regardless of any behavior that may be less than perfect...and at 23 months you can be certain that you will see a lot of behaviors that are "less than."


Activity - Mirrors
Have you ever put your toddler in front of a full-length mirror? Now is the time to give it a try. Sit in front of a large mirror with your toddler, and begin to move different body parts. Help your toddler to move her arms and have her copy your actions. Then let your toddler take charge, and it is your turn to follow her lead. Once she gets the basic idea of this "mirroring" activity, go ahead and turn it up a notch by adding some music and trying a few dance steps together. This activity will guarantee a few good laughs, and it a wonderful way for your toddler to see how much she is now able to control the movement of her body. This is also a great activity for teaching about different parts of the body, and to experiment with funny ways to move them.

Andrew and Devin's Opinion
Mirrors have been an integral part of my 23-month-old twin boys play experience for quite a while. Because my boys are identical twins, I have always been concerned about establishing their own identity separate from one another, and I found mirrors to be the perfect way to reinforce this. From a very young age I would place Andrew and Devin in front of a large mirror, both together and separate, in order for them to recognize from an early age that they were different, despite everyone else's opinions. Interestingly enough, despite my heartfelt efforts to provide them with a sense of individuality, my boys did call one another "Andoo (A.K.A. Andrew)" for the first 18 months of life, and it wasn't until quite recently that Devin took on a name of his own.

Because mirrors have often been incorporated into our play up to this point, Andrew and Devin were excited to see them out again for this activity. In order to get them started and to reinforce the point of this activity, I started to sing and move with the words of "head, shoulders, knees and toes." Andrew and Devin quickly caught on, and after a few moments of taking the lead, I switched things up and began to copy Devin's motions instead. Although it did take a little while before he actually realized that I was mimicking him, once aware that he was in control of the game, he quickly adopted the role and became quite creative with his motions. Andrew did appear to have difficulty, or shall I say, was unwilling to take the back seat to his "younger" brother (by 2 minutes) and was marching to his own drummer, but did have fun looking at himself wiggling around in the mirror nonetheless.

All was fun and games until Devin decided to stick both fingers up his nose, and was disappointed that I did not follow suit. Andrew however, took it upon himself to join in at this point, and got a good laugh out of staring at both himself and his brother in the full-length mirror, fingers up their noses and all. Ah, yes, boys will be boys.

Have you begun to wonder...
Why does my toddler test limits constantly?
Testing the limits is how children learn, and throughout history, humans have pushed their limits to see how far they can go. Testing the world around us, and figuring out how it works is a basic human instinct and a wonderful way to learn, particularly for a toddler whose impulse control is non-existent.

Often your toddler tests you time and time again because her memory, which is still developing, fails to remind her that she has done something before which has been met with poor results or with an unhappy parent. She may also test you because she still cannot generalize, and must go through the lengthy process of learning what she can and cannot do in each case she is presented with throughout the day. Lastly, this is the prime age when your toddler is finally beginning to understand and be intrigued by the concept of cause-and-effect, and she enjoys experimenting to see whether she gets the same reaction from you time and time again.

Congratulations! You are now the official lab rat in your toddler's little experimental world. Hold on tight because she'll only get more creative as the months go on, and you'll be amazed at what she is able to coerce you to do.

Ten Tips to Help Your Toddler Develop Social Skills

By Dr. Laura Markham
Founder, YourParentingSolutions.com

One of the most important tasks in parenting toddlers is helping them learn to manage their emotions, which is the foundation of interpersonal relationships. This skill set is more critical to their happiness in life than school performance or any of our other conventional measures. In fact, emotional intelligence -- defined as the ability to manage one's own emotions and relate well with others -- will be a crucial factor throughout their lives in not only relationships but academic and career success.

1. Empathize, Empathize, Empathize. Kids who receive a lot of empathy for their own feelings from the adults in their lives are the earliest to develop empathy for others, and research has shown that empathy for others is the cornerstone of successful interpersonal relationships.

2. Don't force toddlers to share; it actually delays the development of sharing skills! Kids need to feel secure in their ownership before they can share. Instead, introduce the concept of taking turns. (“It’s Crystal’s turn to use the bucket. Then it will be your turn.”)

3. Before friends come over, toddlers should have a chance to put away their most special toys if they don’t want anyone else to play with them. Use that ritual as an opportunity to explain that the visiting child will of course expect to play with Junior’s other toys, just as Junior plays with his friends’ toys at their houses. Another useful tactic is for the parent to keep a chest of "Mom and Dad's toys." Junior is allowed to use them, of course, because Mom and Dad share, so Junior sees useful modeling. Equally important, Junior won't feel as possessive about sharing them with visitors, because they aren't his.

4. Set clear limits on physical acting out. "I know you're mad, but we don't hit. Use your words. Use this marker and paper and draw me a picture of how mad you are. We can go in the bathroom and shut the door and scream about how mad you are. You can throw pillows at the couch as hard as you want. But no hitting and no biting.” Kids are entitled to their feelings, which have a way of just showing up in human beings, like our arms and legs. But all humans, even little ones, should be held responsible for what they do with their arms and legs and feelings. Our job as parents is to teach them healthy self-management techniques.

5. It’s never too early to give children language for their feelings. Labeling emotion is the first step in managing it. “That big dog’s bark is scary, but you’re safe on this side of the fence and I would never let it hurt you. You don't need to be afraid.” “It’s so frustrating when you work hard on your tower and it collapses like that. No wonder you're angry.” “You wish you had a truck just like Jeremy’s. It’s hard to give it back when it’s his turn. Here, let’s make a road for the truck with the snowplow, and then we can have another turn with the truck on our new road.”

6. Remember that underneath anger is always hurt or fear. Acknowledging those feelings is always more effective to diffuse anger than simply labeling the anger, which just seems to reinforce it. “I hear you’re very angry at Jimmy. I wonder if you’re hurt that he wants to play with someone else right now.”

This is even more important when kids say "I hate him!" because hate is not a feeling; it's a stance. "You feel so angry at your brother right now that you feel like you hate him. Sometimes when we are very, very angry, we feel that way, even toward people we love. Let's go tell your brother how hurt you are that he pushed you off the swing, and how angry that makes you feel."

7. Model working through difficulties. When she's mad at her friend, for instance, you can say "I know you're really mad at Maria right now, but friends sometimes get mad and then they work things out. We can talk about how you might work things out with Maria when you feel ready."

8. Begin introducing the concept of noticing how other people feel as early as you can. "Look at Michael. He's crying. I think you hurt his feelings.” “That little girl is sure mad. I wonder why?" "Neela hurt herself. I wonder if we can do anything to help her feel better?"

9. Stay Calm. Research shows that one of the most important things parents can do to help kids learn to manage their emotions is to stay calm themselves. Kids need to experience their parents as a "holding environment" -- a safe harbor in the storm of their turbulent feelings. If you can stay calm yourself, and soothe your child, she will eventually learn to sooth herself, which is the first step in learning to manage her feelings.

10. Remember they're kids. Just because Robert bites a playmate doesn't mean he'll be an axe-murderer. It's important not to permit bad behavior toward others, but that doesn't mean you don't offer understanding -- and the confidence that your child will learn. "All kids get mad at their friends sometimes. It will be easier, as you get older, to remember how to control yourself when you get mad, so you can work things out." Kids need to hear from you that they aren't bad people, just little.

Reading : Your 22-month-old toddler (week 93)

By Shelley Feldman, edHelperBaby

Your 22-Month-Old Perfectionist
Does it seem that everything has become a ritual with your toddler lately? Does he need to use the same cup, sit in the same seat, read the same book, and walk the same route, day-in and day-out? Does he put his heart and soul into everything he tries to do (for the two seconds he is able to remain focused!), then shriek in delight when he is successful or dramatically roll around on the floor in frustration when things don't go according to plan?

Guess what? It's absolutely normal, and something you're bound to see more and more of as your toddler approaches birthday number two. This month your toddler has specific ideas about what he wants to do and how he wants to do it, and there is no such thing as a "change for the better," at least in his eyes. Toddlers around the 22nd month need to surround themselves with predictable things and people, and sometimes even the slightest deviation from the norm can wreak havoc on your little one's mind.

Ritualistic behavior like you are now witnessing, is your toddler's way of maintaining control while asserting his new found independence in a safe and worry-free manner. When your little one is faced with some type of change in his routine, he feels vulnerable, anxious and frustrated, so having control of even the smallest areas of his life right now means more than you'll ever know. Being denied the fulfillment experienced through rituals can do a number on your little one's self-esteem, so remember that what you may see as monotonous, your toddler sees as peace-of-mind, and who's to argue with a content toddler? Certainly not me.

Many children going through this stage become increasingly particular regarding eating, and how food is presented as well. Specifically, don't be surprised if your toddler suddenly refuses food that is touching something else on his plate, or won't eat anything that appears "broken" like a cracker you have split in two. This is the month when your toddler's expectations are sky-high, and he demands perfection in every aspect of his life. Broken cookies just won't cut it anymore, and either will macaroni that could have possibly encountered a lone pea along the way.

In order to help your toddler get through this "phase" of his development, try to go with the flow and let anyone involved with your toddler on a regular basis know about his new little "quirks." Do your best to respect your little one's hesitancy to embrace change, and whenever possible wait a little while longer before introducing something that may ruffle his feathers too much. Like every other stage you have already passed through, and like every other phase you will encounter, time, understanding and an enormous amount of patience are the keys to survival. And believe it or not, one year from now, the flexible toddler that you thought would never appear will be waiting right around the corner.



Tempers And Tantrums
It's certainly not easy to be 22 months old. Staring at everyone's knees all day, being told "NO!" time and time again, constantly being taken down from tables after finally reaching the summit, being fed vegetables, and having hands, feet and a mouth that won't cooperate...it's no wonder that melt-downs are par for the course this month. Tantrums are most likely to occur when frustration gets mixed with a little fear and a lot of anxiety, and once it's begun there's no stopping it, so hold on because you and your toddler are in for the ride of your lives.

Emotions are so powerful at this age, and your little one has very little control over them. To top it off, these feelings are still so new that sometimes they can be down right frightening. Over time your toddler will learn how to cope more appropriately, especially once she has had time to grow her tough outer skin, but for now, it's not so simple.

This month your toddler's mind continues to charge ahead while her "skills" sluggishly catch up. Just imagine how frustrating it would be for you if you knew what you wanted to do and how to do it, but couldn't co-ordinate your actions with your mind time and time again.

Tantrums may be part of your toddler's daily ritual, or for the fortunate few they may be few and far between. Sometimes a tantrum can come on slowly, and sometimes it can strike in the blink of an eye. All toddlers will vary regarding their "tantrum style," but once a style is chosen, you can expect them to follow it time and time again. Some children go for the "flop around on the floor" option, some whirl around in circles to the point of toppling over, some throw anything in their path, some hold their breath, and some get their point across by just screaming their lungs out. All are lovely options, and none are easy to cope with from any which way you look at it.

Don't take it personally if your toddler chooses to share her tantrums with only you, or a few fortunate others. Oddly enough, your little one will most likely choose trust-worthy individuals in her life to witness her outbursts, saving her best work for when you least expect it. You have worked so hard to provide your toddler with a sense of security, and now that she knows she can always count on you to stand by her side, you have been hand-selected to have a front row seat during her not-so pleasant moments as well.

Despite trying all the tricks in the book to avoid a tantrum, it's important that all obstacles are not eliminated from your toddler's life. An essential part of growing and learning is when she tries new things and figures them out, even if she does become frustrated along the way. So pick and choose when you rescue your toddler from herself these days, because solving problems on her own is a wonderful way to boost her ego and give her the confidence she'll need to face challenges in the future.

Continue to offer your toddler guidance from across the room, and continuously praise her for any effort or progress she makes. Provide your little one with the words to express how she is feeling, and when she appears ready to give up, encourage her to keep trying, but don't force the issue. Try and allow your toddler to be in charge of deciding when she's had enough, because finding a happy medium between too much protection and too much space is the essence of your job this month.

If it makes you feel any better, all of this "emotional turbulence" will settle down eventually. Your toddler will learn how to manage her feelings more effectively, be confronted with less frustration throughout the day, understand that the world is not such a frightening place, and in general, need a little less reassurance from you. Your little one will eventually learn to talk about her feelings, fears and frustrations, and put actual words in their correct places, instead of showing you what they feel like by throwing herself on the floor. As for the time being, tune into your little one's needs by watching and listening to her closely, because right now you still have to "know" without truly being "told."



Activity - Puzzle Time
Puzzles that are slightly challenging are ideal activities for your toddler this month. Not only are they perfect for his developmental stage, but they also provide instant gratification, and are a sure fired way to boost his growing ego.

This month, let your toddler try puzzles with smaller knobs that are just big enough to lift with a thumb and pointer finger. Because of their smaller size, these puzzles are a great way to strengthen your toddler's hand-eye coordination and fine motor skills.

Be careful to match the puzzle's level of difficulty with your toddler's frustration tolerance, and don't underestimate your little one's capabilities. You may be surprised at how well she does with this activity.

Andrew and Devin's Opinion
A few months back, my 22-month-old twin boys, Andrew and Devin, were successful with very simple, large knob puzzles made up of no more than three pieces. Because of their previous success, for this activity I decided to break-out the more difficult, multi-piece wooden puzzles that have the small little knobs just the right size for tiny little curious fingers. I have found that these puzzles are a great "next step" as they are slightly more advanced, however still have the picture of the correct puzzle pieces underneath, making the matching process easier and increasing the chances of success.

After selecting appropriate puzzles for each of my boys, I then placed one in front of each of them and hoped for the best. As any parent of a 22-month-old toddler knows, patience is not a toddler's strong suit right now, and in fact, at least in my household it is non-existent. For this reason I was well prepared for puzzle pieces to be flying across my living room (Devin's favorite way to express himself), and a lot of flailing around on the floor (Andrew's Modus Operandi) when pieces didn't fit perfectly together, and square pegs didn't fit in round holes.

New toys that have previously been off-limits due to the "everything goes right in the mouth phase" are always a hit with Andrew and Devin, particularly when they have watched their big brother playing with them in the past. So finally being allowed access to these recently "forbidden goods" brought a twinkle to my boys' eyes, and grins across their faces, but I was certain it would not last.

Fortunately this time I was wrong, and both of my boys were thrilled trying out the new puzzles from start to (almost) finish. They both looked to me for help on more than one occasion, but with a little hand-over-hand assistance they were able to complete each of their puzzles to the best of their abilities.

Although Andrew and Devin did have some difficulty getting all of the pieces to fit, I am proud to say that no injuries were reported, and no tantrums took place that afternoon. Devin did begin to bang puzzle pieces together towards the end of our activity, a warning to all, and we instantly knew his patience was rapidly coming to an end. In order to head-off the inevitable flying puzzle pieces, Andrew quickly looked to me and said, "Puzzles all done," as he quickly stood up, placed his puzzle back on the shelf, and proceeded to run for cover. Needless to say, he has learned from past experience and was not about to stay in the line of fire...Andrew's memory had once again served him well.

Have you begun to wonder...
How do I best handle my 22-month-old toddler's tantrums?
When your sweet little angel is in the midst of a full blown tantrum, keep in mind that she is even more overwhelmed than you are by what is occurring. She is also completely terrified by her loss of control and the onslaught of emotions that she can't stop despite her most valiant efforts.

Do your best to ensure that your toddler, as well as any innocent by-standers, do not get injured during one of her tantrums, and don't try to argue or reason with her because she won't be able to focus on what you're saying. Also, don't raise your voice to match your toddler's increasing volume, because although her anger may be contagious, your own agitation may provide fuel for her fire, prolonging the outburst in the long run.

Most importantly, don't allow tantrums to relax your role as a parent, and be sure to follow through with consequences no matter where the tantrum takes place or who may be in your presence. Once your toddler realizes that her tantrums affect the way you behave in certain situations, she will learn to use them to her advantage, and possibly have tantrums intentionally to get her way.

No matter how you slice it, tantrums go hand-in-hand with growing up and often there is no way around them. How you handle these outbursts now are laying the groundwork for the future, so be careful how you react. Sometimes the best thing to do is the simplest...sit down, take a deep breath and count to ten.

Shocking Message about Shaken Baby Syndrome

This is not a new news but I felt its something important to share esp since I have a few friends who is becoming 1st time mum soon.

I think we should get the message across to as many people as possible. Please tell your friends to read this and pass it on. Anyone who has anything to do with babies should be shocked by this; shocked enough to never ever shake a baby, however frustrated you may be. Life is too precious and too easily snuffed out.

May London Marie Sherwood rest in peace.





December 4th, 2007, Jessica Sherwood had to do something no mother should ever have to do.
At 2:29 pm Jessica made a very tough, but the right decision to take her little 3 month old daughter off life support

In memory of little London Marie, i thought id start a little forward..Jessica had a message that i want every one to know.. This is what Jessica said:

'If anyone has kids, make sure that you keep them with you the whole time. Don't give then to anyone that you don't trust. Trust me, I thought that I trusted Josh. But now as of December 4, 2007 at 2:29 AM, she is gone. My one & only baby . & He is going to pay FOREVER, even if he gets out of jail scott free, he will be dead no matter what. & To all my friends that know London , I am very angry & upset that I lost the love of my life, my baby girl. She died on her three month birthday .London had six fractured ribs, both of her legs were fracture, & her brain was so damaged that if she were to live she would be a vegetable. So I did what was right & what was best for her & took her off life support. That's what you call Shaken Baby Sydrome [SBS]'

For those of you who don't know what Shaken Baby Syndrome check out the facts;

-Shaking, jerking and jolting can cause blood vessels in the head to tear or burst. Shaken Baby Syndrome is the shaking of an infant or child by the arms, legs, or shoulders with or without impact of the head. This trauma can result in bleeding and brain injury with no outward signs of abuse. Often frustrated caregivers feel that shaking a baby or small child is a harmless way to make the child stop crying. However, a baby's brain and blood vessels are vulnerable to whiplash motions, such as shaking, jerking, jolting, and impact.The neck muscles of an infant or small child are weak, so the child's head is relatively heavy and the neck cannot support the stress of shaking or impact

-Shaking a very young child, with or without impact of the head, can cause irreversible brain damage, blindness, cerebral palsy, hearing loss, spinal cord injury, seizures, learning disabilities, and even death. It is tragic that healthy, intelligent babies are suffering these disabilities simply because their caregivers don't know about the dangers associated with Shaken Baby Syndrome

An estimated 1,200 to 1,400 cases of Shaken Baby Syndrome (SBS) occur each year in the United States. Only 1 out of 4 babies dies of Shaken Baby Syndrome. HOWEVER, the other three babies will need ongoing medical attention for the rest of their short lifespans.

London in hospital





London after she passed


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Physical Signs/Symptoms:

There are various signs and symptoms of shaken baby syndrome. The consequences of less severe cases may not be brought to the attention of medical professionals and may never be diagnosed. In most severe cases, which usually result in death or severe neurological consequences, the child usually becomes immediately unconscious and suffers rapidly escalating, life-threatening central nervous system dysfunction.

Any of these injuries can lead to severe disability or death. If you suspect a child has been shaken, seek medical attention immediately. This could be the difference between life and death.

Common Symptoms of Shaken Baby Syndrome:

- Lethargy / decreased muscle tone
- Extreme irritability
- Extreme irritability
- Decreased appetite, poor feeding or vomiting for no apparent reason
- Grab-type bruises on arms or chest are rare
- No smiling or vocalization
- Poor sucking or swallowing
- Rigidity or posturing
- Difficulty breathing
- Seizures
- Head or forehead appears larger than usual or soft-spot on head appears to be bulging
- Inability to lift head
- Inability of eyes to focus or track movement or unequal size of pupils

Information on this page is not intended to replace advice by a health care professional. If you are concerned about your child's health please consult a physician.



Physical Consequences of Shaking

What Happens:

The brain rotates within the skull cavity, injuring or destroying brain tissue.
When shaking occurs, blood vessels feeding the brain can be torn, leading to bleeding around the brain.

Blood pools within the skull, sometimes creating more pressure within the skull and possibly causing additional brain damage.
Retinal (back of the eye) bleeding is very common

Immediate Consequences:

- Breathing may stop or be compromised
- Extreme irritability
- Seizures
- Limp arms and legs or rigidity/posturing
- Decreased level of consciousness
- Vomiting; poor feeding
- Inability to suck or swallow
- Heart may stop
- Death

Long-Term Consequences:

- Learning disabilities
- Physical disabilities
- Visual disabilities or blindness
- Hearing impairment
- Speech disabilities
- Cerebral Palsy
- Seizures
- Behavior disorders
- Cognitive impairment
- Death

Why:

Babies' heads are relatively large and heavy, making up about 25% of their total body weight. Their neck muscles are too weak to support such a disproportionately large head.
Babies' brains are immature and more easily injured by shaking.
Babies' blood vessels around the brain are more susceptible to tearing than older children or adults.

When:

Often, perpetrators shake an infant or child out of frustration or anger. This most often occurs when the baby won't stop crying. Other triggering events include toilet training difficulties and feeding problems.

Considering a Baby Walker? Learn The Fact

I did not use the "traditional" walker on Kyrell - the one which almost all our parents used on us when we were little - because for the fact that it is found to be unsafe (Canada has banned it) and does not effectively teach the baby to walk.




Read on this article...

By Robert Steele
More than half of all babies between the ages of 5 and 15 months use walkers. Estimated sales have been as high as three million per year. Babies almost universally love them, and parents love to use them because they may keep an otherwise fussy baby entertained -- often for hours. However, they are one of the most dangerous inventions made for children, causing a lot of harm and heartache each year.

There are several types of baby walkers, but most people are familiar with the typical plastic base, wheeled frame, and fabric seat that have leg holes to allow the child to scoot along the floor. Aside from the entertainment this toy gives a child, parents give other reasons for using the walker such as promoting walking and providing exercise. However, up to one-third of parents have said they use the walker because they feel it will keep their infant safe. Unfortunately, none of these are true. The few studies that have been done looking at the how walkers affect development have shown that they do not affect the time at which a child learns to walk. And in fact, most studies have shown that if there is any effect on walking, it is a delay of a few weeks. Babies who use a walker tend to have an abnormal gait at first, but this tends to resolve quickly with time.

Safety, however, is an entirely different issue, and is one in which there is a lot known. In 1997, baby walkers sent more than 14,000 babies to the hospital emergency room. Walkers were even involved in 34 deaths from 1973 to 1998.

The initial standards for safety of walkers set by the Consumer Product Safety Commission dealt with injuries to the hands from pinching, but did nothing to address the issue of falls. And the majority of the severe injuries occur when the walker goes down the stairs.

About one-fourth of all reported injuries with walkers involved injuries to the head, including fractures. Walkers allow for an infant who isn't normally very mobile to become quite efficient at getting around. So, other injuries including pinched fingers, burns and accidental poisonings have all been reported due to the child being able to get into dangerous areas with lightening speed.

The track record with walkers was so dismal that the American Academy of Pediatrics recommended banning the manufacture and sale of mobile infant walkers. This never occurred, and a response was made in the form of a new standard, adopted as of July 1, 1997. To meet the new standard, the new generation walker must have one of two features. Walkers are now made wider so they cannot fit through most doorways and can stop at the edge of a step.

It's important you understand that these new walker designs will not prevent all injuries from walkers. Because they still have wheels, young children can still move faster and reach higher than they could on their own. A baby in a walker can move three feet in one second, so they are not even safe with close adult supervision.

Parents who are considering toys for infants will find their money best spent on playthings other than walkers. There are stationary walkers that have no wheels, but have seats that rotate and bounce while keeping baby in one spot.


5 Things You Need to Know to Protect Your Baby

1. Close the door or gate at the top of the stairs.

2. Keep your child within view.

3. Keep your child away from hot surfaces and containers.

4. Beware of dangling appliance cords.

5. Keep your child away from toilets, swimming pools and other sources of water

Childhood Development: 1 to 2 Years

Something I read...

http://www.howkidsdevelop.com/developSkills.html

Learning to walk and talk is your child's biggest job in this year. Enjoy your child's development, and remember to make sure that your child is always supervised.

How your child eats:

- Your child should be on an eating schedule and can join the family at the dinner table 3 times a day.
Kyrell is only having one meal a day plus some lighter ones in between his milk

- Your child's appetite may decrease; remember a child of this age is eating about 1/4 of an adult serving.

- Your child may prefer only one type of food ("food jag").
So far Kyrell has liked all the food we give

- Watch your child when he eats and avoid giving him foods that he might choke on. Examples include "hard to chew" food like steak, "small and round" food like hot dogs, grapes, peanuts, popcorn (hot dogs and grapes can be cut into strips), and "sticky" food like peanut butter (peanut butter can be mixed with plain yogurt to decrease stickiness).

How to care for your child's mouth:

- Your child can begin brushing her teeth with water and a soft-bristled toothbrush around 18 months, but will need your help to floss and clean teeth completely.

- Your child may be seeing a pediatric dentist every 6 months.

How your child uses his hands (your child's fine motor skill development):

- Your child will move from finger feeding to trying to use a spoon this year.
With practice, your baby can learn to drop toys into buckets or bowls.

- Your child may enjoy making marks on paper with crayons. Supervise him so he does not put the crayons in his mouth or color on the wall (a favorite)!

- You may notice that your child loves to stack things up and then knock things down.

- Your child may enjoy nesting cups and stacking rings and other toys that fit inside each other or on top of each other. For example, he will be able to stack 2 to 3 blocks to make a tower.

- Your child may enjoy simple shape sorters or puzzles after 18 months.

- Your child may try to take things apart. Keep toys with small parts that your child could choke on away from him.

How your child moves (your child's gross motor skill development):

- Your child will use lots of energy to learn to walk.
Soft shoes or bare feet are probably best when your child is learning to walk. Some shoes may be so stiff that a child's foot can't bend or move easily in them.

- Your child will learn how to roll and kick a ball.

- If there are stairs in your child's environment, she may try to walk up them with help. Next she will put both feet on one step before going to the next step. Never let her do this alone. Always supervise her near the stairs.

- Always use baby gates or locked doors to protect your baby from stairs and open windows unless you are there to help her and keep her safe.

How your child communicates (your child's speech and language development):

- When your child points at something, it is to let you know that it has caught his attention. Use your words to teach your baby the names of objects.
Kyrell does that whenever he sees something that caught his attention, if he can't say the name of the object, he will point and go "urh"

- Your child will learn to point to pictures he recognizes in books or points to parts of his body if you ask him where it is.
Kyrell knows where is tummy, nose, tongue and hair

- In this period, your child will begin to say words for the most familiar things or people in his surroundings. By 24 months, he should know at least 50 words. By 12 months, Kyrell can say more then 30 words

- Your child may pronounce a word differently than you do. Don't correct him, just repeat the word correctly so he can hear it.

- By his second birthday, your child is putting two and three words together to make simple sentences like "Mama go bye-bye" or "want cookie."
Kyrell can say one or two sentences like "take mum mum", "please mum mum"

How your child explores (your child's cognitive development):

- Your child will spend more time exploring an object than she has before.

- Your child will be more interested in turning pages of her favorite books herself.

- Your child will learn how to match two objects together by color, shape or size.

- Your child is paying more attention to the actions of others, and may try to imitate those actions like feeding his doll with a cup or spoon.
Kyrell is good at imitating sound!!

How your child is growing emotionally (your child's social and emotional development):

- Your child is learning how to communicate his wants, needs, and feelings by using words and facial expressions.

- "No" is usually a very popular word. Your child may say "No" when he means "Yes".
The more often you use the word "No" with your child, the more often he will probably say "No" to you, so use it only when really needed.

- Your child will begin to recognize herself in the mirror.

- Your child may play next to another child, but your child will not learn to share until he is three to four years old.

- Your child may prefer the company of adults rather than other children.

- Your child may show jealousy when he isn't the center of attention.

Loving and playing with your child:
- Make getting dressed and undressed a fun experience and your child may join in and learn to start undressing herself.

- Tantrums are normal at this stage. Your child wants to explore everything and she cannot judge safe and unsafe activities. She will feel frustrated when you limit her activities to keep her safe. Also she does not have enough words in her vocabulary to explain herself and what she wants.

- Redirect your child from unsafe activities to more appropriate activities. For example, instead of telling your child not to touch the glass figurines on the coffee table, put them where she can't reach them or climb up to them.

- Read books with repitition and rhyme. Children this age love rhyming.
As you read point to the pictures from left to right on a page to introduce your child to how we read.

- Play "show me" with books! For example, "Where's the kitty? Show me the kitty." Show excitement yourself when she points to the kitty.

10 Reasons to Throw Out Your Microwave

Something to share...

From the conclusions of the Swiss, Russian and German scientific clinical studies, we can no longer ignore the microwave oven sitting in our kitchens. Based on this research, we will conclude this article with the following:

1) Continually eating food processed from a microwave oven causes long term - permanent - brain damage by "shorting out" electrical impulses in the brain [de-polarizing or de-magnetizing the brain tissue].

2) The human body cannot metabolize [break down] the unknown by-products created in microwaved food.

3) Male and female hormone production is shut down and/or altered by continually eating microwaved foods.

4) The effects of microwaved food by-products are residual, long term, and permanent within the human body.

5) Minerals, vitamins, and nutrients of all microwaved food is reduced or altered so that the human body gets little or no benefit,or the human body absorbs altered compounds that cannot bebroken down.

6) The minerals in vegetables are altered into cancerous free radicals when cooked in microwave ovens.

7) Microwaved foods cause stomach and intestinal cancerous growths [tumors]. This may explain the rapidly increased rate of colon cancer in America.

8) The prolonged eating of microwaved foods causes cancerous cells to increase in human blood.

9) Continual ingestion of microwaved food causes immune system deficiencies through lymph gland and blood serum alterations.

10) Eating microwaved food causes loss of memory, concentration, emotional instability, and a decrease of intelligence.


The use of artificial microwave transmissions for subliminal psychological control, a.k.a. "brainwashing", has also been proven. We're attempting to obtain copies of the 1970's Russian research documents and results written by Drs. Luria and Perov specifying their clinical experiments in this area.

From http://cs.nju.edu.cn/~gchen/news/news1.htm

8 Month Old's Development

Most babies should be able to . . .
1) Start crawling (yes)
2) Sit without support (yes)
3) Pass object from one hand to the other (yes)
4) Respond to own name (yes)
5) Mouth and chew on objects (yes)
6) Reach for spoon when being fed (cant remember)
7) Turn away when finished eating (no cos he always wanted more haha)
8) Say mama and dada to both parents (usually isn’t specific) (yes!! at later stage of 8th month)

Some babies will probably be able to . . .
1) Stand while holding on to something (yes)
2) Crawl well (not really)
3) Pull up to standing position from sitting (yes)
4) Walk holding onto furniture (no)
5) Clap and bang objects together (yes)
6) Separation and stranger anxiety may begin (sometimes)

Some babies could possibly be able to . . .
1) Indicate wants with different gestures (not really cos mostly he is fine with whatever)
2) Use thumb and finger pincer grasp to pick things up (think so)
3) Stand alone momentarily (no)
4) Wave goodbye (think so)
5) Understand the word no (but usually doesn’t obey it) (cant remember)

Extracted from The New Parents Guide

What is Eczema?

What’s the difference between eczema and atopic dermatitis?
Eczema is a general term encompassing various inflamed skin conditions. One of the most common forms of eczema is atopic dermatitis (or "atopic eczema"). Approximately 10 percent to 20 percent of the world population is affected by this chronic, relapsing, and very itchy rash at some point during childhood. Fortunately, many children with eczema find that the disease clears and often disappears with age.

In general, atopic dermatitis will come and go, often based on external factors. Although its cause is unknown, the condition appears to be an abnormal response of the body’s immune system. In people with eczema, the inflammatory response to irritating substances overacts, causing itching and scratching. Eczema is not contagious and, like many diseases, currently cannot be cured. However, for most patients the condition may be managed well with treatment and avoidance of triggers.

What does eczema look and feel like?
Although eczema may look different from person to person, it is most often characterized by dry, red, extremely itchy patches on the skin. Eczema is sometimes referred to as "the itch that rashes," since the itch, when scratched, results in the appearance of the rash.

Eczema can occur on just about any part of the body; however, in infants, eczema typically occurs on the forehead, cheeks, forearms, legs, scalp, and neck. In children and adults, eczema typically occurs on the face, neck, and the insides of the elbows, knees, and ankles. In some people, eczema may "bubble up" and ooze. In others, the condition may appear more scaly, dry, and red. Chronic scratching causes the skin to take on a leathery texture because the skin thickens (lichenification).

What makes patients with eczema itch?
Many substances have been identified as itch "triggers" in patients with eczema, and triggers are not the same for every person. Many times it is difficult to identify the exact trigger that causes a flare-up. For some, it seems that rough or coarse materials coming into contact with the skin causes itchiness. For others, feeling too hot and/or sweating will cause an outbreak. Other people find that certain soaps, detergents, disinfectants, contact with juices from fresh fruits and meats, dust mites, and animal saliva and danders may trigger itching. Upper respiratory infections (caused by viruses) may also be triggers. Stress can also sometimes aggravate an existing flare-up.

How can eczema be prevented?
Eczema outbreaks can usually be avoided with some simple precautions. The following suggestions may help to reduce the severity and frequency of flare-ups:

1) Moisturize frequently
2) Avoid sudden changes in temperature or humidity
3) Avoid sweating or overheating
4) Reduce stress
5) Avoid scratchy materials (e.g., wool or other irritants)
6) Avoid harsh soaps, detergents, and solvents
7) Avoid environmental factors that trigger allergies (e.g., pollens, molds, mites, and animal dander)
8) Be aware of any foods that may cause an outbreak and avoid those foods

For more read-up, check out
http://www.skincarephysicians.com/eczemanet/whatis.html
http://www.eczemaguide.ca/basics/what_is_eczema.html

7 Month Old's Developments

Most babies should be able to . . .
1) Sit without support (yes)
2) Make razzing sounds (dun understand what this means)
3) Imitate sound (not really)
4) Work at getting a toy that is out of reach (yes)
5) Feed self a cracker or finger food (no cos we din let him)

Some babies will probably be able to . . .
1) Start crawling or lunging forward (yes)
2) Get upset if you take a toy away (no cos he's usually ok with it)
3) Play peek-a-boo (yes)
4) Distinguish emotions by your tone of voice (maybe?)
5) Pass object from one hand to the other (cant remember)
6) Separation and stranger anxiety may begin (not really)

Some babies could possibly be able to . . .
1) Stand while holding onto something (no)
2) Wave goodbye (dun think so)
3) Clap hands (cant remember)
4) Bang objects together (cant remember)
5) Say mama or dada (no)
6) Pull up to standing position from sitting (no)
7) Walk holding onto furniture (no)

Extracted from The New Parents Guide

6 Month Old's Developments

Rollin', rollin', rollin'
Your baby's stronger neck and arm muscles allow him to practice rolling over toward one side, a milestone that will probably awe and amuse you. Your baby might adopt rolling as his primary mode of ground transportation for a while, or he may skip it altogether and move on to sitting, lunging, and crawling. As long as your baby continues to gain new skills and shows interest in getting around and exploring his environment, don't worry.

Rolling over can be fun for your baby, but it can also be nerve-racking for you. Keep a hand on your baby during diaper changes, and never leave him unattended on a bed or any other elevated surface.

Your little social butterfly
At this age your baby not only tolerates attention from others, he'll often initiate it. Though you may soon notice the beginnings of stranger anxiety, your baby will probably still be fairly indiscriminate: Chances are anyone who approaches him with welcoming eyes or a grin delights him and becomes an instant friend. But don't worry — he still needs and craves lots of love and attention from you.

Your baby is also learning that his behaviors, both the ones you like and the ones you don't, engage you, so starting now (and for years to come) he'll do just about anything to get your attention. Right now almost everything he does is endearing, but as he gets older, he's more likely to get into mischief to provoke a reaction from you. Just don't forget to give him positive feedback when he's being good. It's a great way to start teaching right from wrong.

One thing will become clear: Your baby is beginning to expand his attention-getting repertoire to include more than crying. You may notice him wriggling, making noises, blowing "raspberries," and so on. Over the next three months, he'll develop a uniquely personal way of letting you know what he thinks, wants, and needs.

Extracted from BabyCenter

20 Things No One Told You About Motherhood

I read this on www.parent.com thought its interesting to share...

1) You Will Become a Song and Dance Woman

Life becomes like Fame when you've got a babe -- you break into song giving him a bath and feeding him pureed peas because you can't get enough of those smiles that come as your reward. You've also rewritten the lyrics to countless songs to include your baby's name. And your chicken dance? It kills every time.

2) Your Pet Will Be Downgraded

You won't have the urge to give your "first" baby the same kind of pampering now that you have an actual baby. But it's ok -- in a year or two he's going to new walking, talking, squeezing best friend.

3) So Long, Clean Living Room

They're taking over... it's the attack of the oversized, brightly colored toys! Your former everything-in-its-place living room will probably never look the same, as you realize how handy it is to have a swing/bouncy seat/exersaucer close by. And you know what? It's a trade-off you won't mind.

4) You Will Gain a New Appreciation for Your Genes

You've always disliked your dimples, but now that you see them on your baby -- your gorgeous baby with the cutest smiles ever -- you're thinking they might just be your best feature.

5) You Will Covet a Sensible Car

Your idea of a hot ride has definitely changed. While the idea of buying a minivan or wagon used to feel like something your parents would do, now that you see how much baby stuff you need to schlep with you on trips, you're dying for one (or already have it).

6) Breastfeeding is Tough -- Really Tough

Friends will warn you, but you can't understand how difficult nursing can be for some new mommies until you've been through it yourself. Bleeding, infections, poor latch, cluster feedings -- are you sure women have been doing this for hundreds of years? Don't be afraid to ask for help.

7) You Will Sympathize With Other Parents

That dirty look you shot the parents with the screaming baby on the plane a few years ago? You had no idea, and you would go back in time and take it back a thousand times if you could. Now, post-baby, you exchange understanding looks and what-can-you-do shrugs with other women in the mama sisterhood.

8) You Will Check Vanity at the Door

If it will keep your baby happy and comfortable, you'll do it, no matter how foolish you look. That includes making monkey sounds, speaking in baby talk, and tickling your kid's butt.

9) Your Abs Will Never Recover

Do not look at post-Violet pictures of Jennifer Garner in a bikini. You're fragile enough as it is, postpartum. Go ahead and do Pilates, do crunches until the cows come home, but your prebaby abs have left the station. The more important thing is: you won't care. Much.

10) Your Mother-in-Law Relationship Will Change

Adding a baby to the mix has some quirky effects. If you and your mother-in-law have never seen eye-to-eye, you may be surprised to discover that a baby provides new common ground. You both find him adorable! She may shock you with her nonjudgmental advice and appreciation of your mothering. And even if she's not your biggest fan, she may hold her tongue (when she never has before) because she knows you have the power to grant her access to her grandchild. On the flip side, if you and your mother-in-law have always been superclose, a baby could create unexpected tension. She may barrage you with unsolicited advice. If you're experiencing baby-related conflicts with your husband, she may side with him. Retain your manners, trust your instincts, and your relationship with her will survive.

11) You Will Have a New Idea of "Vacation"

A salon pedicure will become the emotional and spiritual equivalent of a trip to the Bahamas.

12) You Will Learn a New Formula

Take the number of hours you stared, enchanted, into the face of your high school boyfriend. Multiply that by 100 for the amount of time you will stare at the face of your sleeping child.

13) Your Baby Will Shock You

As a good friend confided, "I was shocked that such a tiny baby could fart so loudly!"

14) You Will Gain -- and Lose -- Friends

You will make friends with people you never thought you would be friends with. Momdom creates strange alliances. You connect with a random woman in the playground about your shared nursing difficulties or about the anguish of letting your child cry it out at night. Suddenly, you're allies for life. Sadly, there's a corollary: be prepared for friendships to fall by the wayside after you have kids. You may no longer have the energy to make longstanding, if troubled, relationships work.

15) You Will Love Hubby as "Daddy"

You will be massively irked by your husband several times a day. Then you'll watch him in Daddy mode -- announcing, "You take a nap, Honey, I've got things covered"; singing the Ramones' "Sheena Is a Punk Rocker" as a lullaby; giving your toddler horsie rides until she screams with laughter -- and forget every irritated thought you ever had.

16) You Will Feel Like a Celeb Stalked by Reporters

If someone rudely questions your parenting judgment (breastfeeding? not? going back to work? not? sleep training? not?) only once a week, you're ahead of the curve.

17) Your Sex Life Won't Exist

You will realize with terrifying clarity that your baby will do everything he can to remain an only child by making sure you never have sex again

18) You Will Overhaul Your Netflix Queue

Kidnapped babies? Small children in jeopardy? Widowed young moms? Forget about it. Sweetie, let's just rent Knocked Up again.

19) You Will Win... One Way or Another

Girls clothes get more space in the store, and it's universally acknowledged that baby and toddler girls are more fun to dress. This is deeply unfair to mothers of boys. But they'll get their revenge in three years, when moms of girls have to deal with hoochie-mama clothing for preschoolers.

20) You Will Never Find Motherhood Boring

Self-congratulatory about your awesome parenting? Hang on, that'll change. Self-lacerating about being the worst mom on earth? Hang on, that'll change.

Here's why: At six weeks, your kid may sleep through the night, seldom cry, and eat like a champ. You tell yourself it's because of your level-headed, consistent parenting. Guess what? By the time he turns 5, your champion eater will become a French-frytarian and your champion sleeper will pop out of bed a million times a night. The baby who didn't walk until he was 15 months old and refused to share, well, that kid turns into a star athlete, whom teachers praise for his flexibility and independence.

The upshot? Parenting is like New England weather; if you wait a few minutes, it'll change. The best advice of all: try to stay in the moment and enjoy both the sunshine and the squalls ahead.

So, do you agree to the points mentioned? Or do you have more to share?:)

Benefits of Baby Massage

About Baby Massage
Many cultures have used massage as part of baby care for hundreds of years, and research shows it can have many benefits. Massage enables you to learn about and respond to your baby's body language. It is also a wonderful way to make your baby feel safe and secure by showing that he or she is loved and cared for. There is no set way to massage your baby - provided you know how to do it safely, you and your baby will discover what's best for you both. It is important to remember, however, that massage is something you do with, rather than to your baby. It is recommended that you learn from someone with a qualification in baby massage, or from a midwife or health visitor, to ensure you are doing it safely.
(From Baby massage: a guide for parents produced by the International Association of Infant Massage and Johnson's baby)

The Benefits
A ten minute massage, two or three times a week helps make a more confident mother-infant relationship, babies love it and it can help alleviate baby ailments too. You will probably ask yourself, do babies actually need massage? Surely they are supple, relaxed and do not seem to face the stresses that make us knotted and tense. Lorraine Tolley of The Guild of Infant & Child Massage explains that not every baby knows how to relax: "Many babies are fussy, disorganised and have colic, cry a lot or sleep poorly. Massage can help with all these problems."

1) Massage can begin from the day the baby is born, but many parents start later having been taught by health professionals or having been on a course

2) Massage is an excellent way of connecting with your baby if you are a working mum. A short massage each night before bath time can help your baby feel loved

3) Massage can alleviate trapped wind, soothe colic or alleviate constipation

4) Massaging the jaw can relax a baby who has just begun to take solids

5) Massaging the gums through the skin may ease the pain of teething

6) A face massage can unblock baby's blocked nose

7) Massage can alleviate the effects of postnatal depression and help mother have a more positive interaction with their baby

Read up more at these websites :
http://www.literacytrust.org.uk/talktoyourbaby/babymassage.html
http://www.touchingbond.com/touchingbond/us/baby-bonding-tips.jsp
http://www.baby.com/view.aspx?cid=545&pid=196

PS : Till date, I still massage Kyrell.. a short and simple one, everyday, whenever I changed him to sleep.
My legs are long and strong, My legs are long and strong.. Daddy & Mummy Loves Me! My legs are long and strong.

So what are you waiting for? Massage away! Give the touch of love :)
All you need is a lotion or message gel (ie Avent)

Preparing To Go Home!

On the last night of stay in the hospital, my breast was badly engorged! I have to ask the nurse in to help me relieve it - by massage (teaching me the technique) and use of the pump! It was painful and after exerting so much energy, I got hungry so I sent my hubby to buy me some supper, at 2am+!! Its so late that most eateries are closed so he walked to Blastier to packet some chicken rice back hehe...

After eating hospital food for 3 days (not that it was bad or anything), the chicken rice tasted so yummy!!

I couldn't sleep well at night, excited about going home (my bro's hse) in few hrs time and also being too full from the supper :p

Oh btw, we are still not sure if Kyrell can be discharged, still waiting for Dr EK Ong to give the "OK" sign on Kyrell's jaundice (he's slightly jaundiced), hopefully the test results from tomorrow shows that his level is not exceedingly high!


Definition of Jaundice
During their first few days of life, more than half of all full-term babies and as many as four out of five premature infants who are otherwise healthy develop jaundice, a yellowish discoloration of the skin and eyes. Although some babies are jaundiced at birth, most develop infant jaundice during their second or third day of life. That's why you may not notice it until after your baby is home.

Infant jaundice itself isn't a disease. In most cases infant jaundice occurs because your baby's liver isn't mature enough to metabolize a molecule called bilirubin, which normally forms when the body recycles old or damaged red blood cells.

Infant jaundice usually isn't a cause for alarm. It doesn't cause discomfort for your baby, and it usually disappears on its own in one to two weeks. Still, infant jaundice should be closely monitored by your baby's doctor because severe jaundice can lead to serious complications. Treatments can help keep your baby's blood level of bilirubin from becoming too high.

Group B Streptococcus

Group B streptococcus, or group B strep, is a bacterium that causes life- threatening infections in newborns. Group B strep can also cause disease in pregnant women, the elderly, and adults with other illnesses.
Many people carry group B strep bacteria in their bodies without developing infection or illness. However, the bacteria can become deadly to people with weakened immune systems.
Pregnant women can transmit group B strep to their newborns at birth. Group B strep is the most common cause of blood infections and meningitis in newborns.
Most cases of group B strep disease in newborns can be prevented by giving certain pregnant women antibiotics during labor.


What is group B streptococcus (group B strep)?

Group B streptococcus (group B strep) is a bacterium that causes life-threatening infections in newborn infants. Group B strep can also cause serious diseases in pregnant women, the elderly, and adults with other illnesses. The letter "B" refers to a classification of bacteria in the genus Streptococcus according to the makeup of the organism's cell wall.



What kinds of illnesses does group B strep cause?

In newborns, group B strep is the most common cause of sepsis (infection of the bloodstream) and meningitis (infection of the lining and fluid surrounding the brain) and a common cause of pneumonia. Group B strep disease in newborns usually occurs in the first week of life ("early- onset"). Babies can also get a slightly less serious "late-onset" form of group B strep disease that develops a week to a few months after birth.

In adults, group B strep usually causes no symptoms. However, in rare cases, it can lead to serious bloodstream infections, urinary tract infections, skin infections, and pneumonia, especially in people with weakened immune systems and other health problems, such as diabetes.



How do people get infected with group B strep?

Group B strep bacteria are different from many other types of bacteria that can cause disease. People can be "colonized" with group B strep. This means that they carry the bacteria in their bodies but are not infected and do not become sick. Adults can carry the bacteria in the gastrointestinal tract, genital tract, or urinary tract. About 10% to 30% of pregnant women are colonized with group B strep in the genital tract.

Colonization with group B strep is usually harmless. The bacteria can become deadly, though, if something happens that allows them to invade the bloodstream. In adults, weakened immunity resulting from cancer treatment or a chronic illness can prompt an infection. More often, pregnant women who carry the bacteria can unknowingly transmit group B strep to their newborns at birth. Newborns can acquire early-onset group B strep disease either before or during delivery. The cause of late-onset disease in babies is not well understood.



How is group B strep infection diagnosed?

Group B strep infection is diagnosed by a laboratory test of blood or spinal fluid.



Who is at risk for group B strep infection?

Adults with illnesses that weaken the immune system, such as diabetes or cancer, are at risk of infection with group B strep.

An infant born to a woman who is carrying the bacteria can also be at risk. Some pregnant women are at more risk than others of having a baby who develops group B strep disease. A pregnant woman is at high risk if she:

Has already had a baby with group B strep infection
Has a urinary tract infection caused by group B strep
Becomes colonized with group B strep late in pregnancy
Develops a fever during labor
Has rupture of membranes 18 hours or more before delivery
Begins labor or has rupture of membranes before 37 weeks ("preterm")


What complications can result from group B strep infection?

Group B strep infection is fatal in about 20% of infected men and non-pregnant women and about 5% to 15% of infected newborns. Babies who survive can be left with speech, hearing, and vision problems as well as mental retardation.



What is the treatment for group B strep infection?

Group B strep infections in both newborns and adults are usually treated with antibiotics given intravenously (through a vein).

For more reading up..
http://www.dhpe.org/infect/strepb.html

What is Listeria?

During pregnancy it is important to be aware of what you put inside your body. You should be aware of what is good to eat and also what is not so good to eat. Listeria is a type of bacteria that can be found in some contaminated foods. Listeria can cause problems for both you and your baby. Although Listeriosis (the illness from ingesting Listeria) is rare, pregnant women are more susceptible to it than non-pregnant healthy adults.

What is Listeria?
Listeria monocytogenes is a type of bacteria that is found in water and soil. Vegetables can become contaminated from the soil, and animals can also be carriers. Listeria has been found in uncooked meats, uncooked vegetables, unpasteurized milk, foods from unpasteurized milk and processed foods. Listeria is killed by pasteurization and cooking. There is a chance that contamination may occur in ready-to-eat foods such as hot dogs and deli meats because contamination may occur after cooking and before packaging.

What are the risks of a pregnant woman getting Listeriosis?
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), an estimated 2,500 persons become seriously ill each year in the United States and among these, 500 will die. According to research, pregnant women account for 27% of these cases. The CDC claims that pregnant women are 20 times more likely to become infected than non-pregnant healthy adults.

How will I know if I have Listeriosis?
Symptoms of Listeriosis may show up 2-30 days after exposure. Symptoms in pregnant women include mild flu like symptoms, headaches, muscle aches, fever, nausea and vomiting. If the infection spreads to the nervous system it can cause stiff neck, disorientation or convulsions. Infection can occur at any time during pregnancy, but it is most common during the third trimester when your immune system is somewhat suppressed. Be sure to contact your health care provider if you experience any of these symptoms.

Can Listeriosis harm my baby?
If you are pregnant and are infected with Listeriosis, you could experience:

Miscarriage
Premature delivery
Infection to the newborn
Death to the newborn (only 22% of cases with perinatal Listeriosis result in stillbirth or neonatal death)
Early treatment may prevent fetal infection and fetal death

How is Listeriosis treated?
Listeriosis is treated with antibiotics during pregnancy. These antibiotics, in most cases, will prevent infection to the fetus and newborn. These same antibiotics are also given to newborns with Listeriosis.

What can I do to protect my baby from Listeriosis?
Following these guidelines can greatly reduce your chances of contracting Listeriosis.
Eat hard cheeses instead of soft cheeses: The CDC has recommended that pregnant women avoid soft cheeses such as feta, Brie, Camembert, blue-veined cheeses and Mexican style cheeses such as queso fresco, queso blanco and Panela.

Hard cheeses such as cheddar and semi-soft cheeses such as mozzarella are safe to consume. Pasteurized processed cheese slices and spreads such as cream cheese and cottage cheese can also be safely consumed. The most important thing to do is read the labels!

Do not eat hot dogs, luncheon meats or deli meats unless they are properly reheated to steaming (or 160 F): Eating out at certain restaurants that provide deli meat sandwiches such as Subway is not recommended for pregnant women since they do not reheat their deli meats. Therefore Subway recommends that pregnant women eat non-luncheon meat items such as meatball, steak & cheese, roasted chicken, seafood & crab and tuna (limit 2 servings a week).

Do not eat refrigerated pates or meat spreads.
Do not eat refrigerated smoked seafood unless it is contained in a cooked dish, such as a casserole.

Practice safe food handling:
Wash all fruits and vegetables
Keep everything clean including your hands and preparation surfaces
Keep your refrigerator thermometer at 40 degrees or below
Clean your refrigerator often
Avoid cross contamination between raw and uncooked foods (this includes hot dog juices)
Cook foods at proper temperatures (use food thermometers) and reheat all foods until they are steaming hot (or 160 F)

Proper Temperatures for Cooking Foods:
Chicken 165-180 F
Egg Dishes 160 F
Ground Meat 160-165 F
Beef Medium well 160 F
Beef Well Done 170 F (not recommended to eat any meat cooked rare)
Pork 160-170 F
Ham (raw) 160 F
Ham (precooked) 140 F

Refrigerate or freeze food promptly.

Questions that Mummy-To-Be Commonly Asked...

More useful info I found from the forum... Just when you thought you know everything, more questions pop up then suddenly you are lost =_="

1) how do i know if i'm feeding him enough

if u are bf on demand, u are already using your instints to read the messages your baby sends out when he's hungry and when he's had enough.

other signs you can look out for are:
1. 6 - 8 wet diapers a day

2. mustard-yellow poo. whether your baby poos after every feed or once every few days, the colour shld be yellow. dark green poo may mean he is dehydrated. check with your doctor

3. general weight gain. no need to worry if his weight fluctuates a little, but in general there shd be a gradual increase of weight.

4. bright eyes and alertness assure you of a happy baby

2) how do i know if he's too hot or too cold

feel his tummy - not his forehead or feet - tp tell if your baby is feeling too hot, too cold, or just right.

it shld feel warm but not too hot or sweaty. his hands and feet may be colder than the rest of his body, so it's not a good indication.

it's impt that u help your baby regulate his temperature, becos he cant do it on his own. over-heating can be dangerous, as it has been associated with Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.

to keep him from being too hot, dont over-dress him or use thick blankets. dress him in layers, so that u can add or remove clothing as the temperature changes.

when he's asleep, a cotton blanket will do. the ideal room temperature is 18 - 21 degree celcius.

3) do i need to clean my baby's genitals

yes, to reduce the risk of infection. clean the genitals gently with cool, clean water, always wiping from front to back to prevent the spread of germs from her poo - this is especially impt for girls, who can get urinary infection.

when cleaning a boy's genitals, avoid pulling back his foreskin, as it's normal for it to be attached to the top of the penis until he's around 12mths or so. allow the area to dry thoroughly after cleaning

4) should i clear a blocked nose

its's not unusual for baby to have a blocked nose becos his nasal passages are still small and narrow. but bear in mind that he may take a little longer to feed if he has a blocked nose.

gently remove any crusty bits with cotton wool and warm water. apply little vaseline around the nostril. it may also help if u:

1. raise the head of his mattress at nite by placing a firm pillow under his mattress (nv put a pillow in his crib as this can cause suffocation)

2. fill your bathtub with hot water and carry him in and out to allow the steam to open his airways, so that he can breathe more easily

3. some doctors advise using saline nose drops to unblock a baby's nose. check with your doc

5) when do i call a doctor

if bb's breathingis unusual, or if he seems to be wheezing, see your doc immediately.
6) how do i give him medicine

a syringe-like dropper is best. u can get it free frm the pharmacist. fill the syringe until it contains the correct amount of medicine, then place the tip of it in your bb's mouth so tat it points towards his cheek, and slowly press the plunger.

dont aim the syringe at his throat as it cld choke him and he'll cough all the medicine out.

7) what's the best way to take his temperature

carry your bb, cuddling him as u place a thermometer under his armpit for at least 10 seconds. give him a small toy or picture to look at to help distract him.

a normal temperature shd be ard 37 degree celcius, although this will vary slightly from person to person. your bb's underarm temperature is likely to be about 0.6degree celcius lower than his true body temperature

forehead strips are easy to use and are good for finding out whether your bb has a fever, but they are not able to give u an exact reading.

8) why is he crying

it may tak awhile foru to learn how to read what his different cries mean. but u will, eventually. the top reasons bb cries are becos they are hungry, they need their diapers changed, they are tired or overstimulated, or they just need a cuddle.

holding, rocking, stroking and massage can help soothe your bb and the more physical contact he has with u, the calmer he'll be. many bb also find sucking very soothing too.

bb who are in pain usually have a high-pitched, urgent and continuous cry. try to eliminate all other causes of discomfort, such as being hungry, wet, over-stimulated or tired.

if none of these seem to be the cause and he could be in pain or feeling sick.

if his pain is caused by illness, he's likely to display other symptoms as well, such as fever, diarrhoea, rapid, shallow breathing or vomitting. he may also show behavioural changes, such as fretfulness, clinginess or refusing food

get help if your baby:

1. has a fever (temperature over 38) and/or a rash

2. has not pee for more than 4 hours

3. does not want to move or be moved

4. has blood in the poo or pee

5. has vomitting or diarrhoea for > 12 hours

6. is floppy and lack energy

7. has a bulging or sunken fontanelle (the soft spot on the top of his head)

http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/messages/578191/841453.html?1186726878

A Top-to-Toe Guide To Newborn Care

I came across this article while surfing the forum, I got it saved, surely this will come in handy when the baby is born. I am counting down the days... getting excited le!

Fontanelles
a soft spot on the top of your baby's head, the fontanelle is where the skull bones meet. This allows the bones to move slightly, so that during birth, the baby can pass through the birth canal more easily. There's a smaller fontanelle at the back of baby's head. The 2 fontanelles take up to 18 mths to close.

Hair
Even while in your womb, your baby grows soft hair. The soft body hair, or lanugo, is still seen on your newborn, especially if baby's premature. This will drop after birth, and when baby's new hair grows at 6mth or so, the colour and texture can be different.

Eyesight
As you'll be spending a lot of time feeding your baby, nature has designed your newborn's eyesight to focus best on objects about 20-30cm away - the distance between your face and his when you're breastfeeding. Colours are hazy to him, so contrasting colours like black and white are clearer. Gradually your baby will learn to focus at various distances.

Teeth & Gums
Although your newborn looks toothless, he actually has a full set of teeth in his gums. In some cases, a baby is actually born with tooth showing (about 1 in 2000 babies). Most babies, however, begin teething between 4 and 12mths - usually the bottom incisors are the 1st to pop out.

Umbilical Cord
You'll notice little stump on your newborn's navel. This is what's left of the umbilical cord. It takes about 10days to fall out. Meanwhile, keep the area clean and dry by dabbing gently with water or breastmilk every day.

Sex Organs
Due to your hormones still circulating in your baby, his genitals may appear swollen after birth. Girls may also bleed a little. These symptoms should soon disappear.

Legs & Toes
At birth, your baby's legs look bowed, and when placed on his tummy, his legs may pull up under his abdomen. His toes curl under when you stroke his foot (plantar reflex) - this lasts until 8 to 18mths. After about 3mths his legs straighten out and he'll enjoy kicking in the air! By 6 mths, he'll suck his toes and kick at objects like a toy or mobile.


Hands & Fingers
Your baby loves to keep his fist curled up in the first 2mths. Instinctively (palmar reflex), he grasps your finger when you put it in his hand. At 3mths, he will try to hold objects that catch his interest. His tiny fingernails and toenails are soft, and can be trimmed with baby scissor. Do this when he's asleep - he doesn't wiggle as much then!

Diaper Facts
Your newborn's first poo is a greenish-black matter called meconium. This is the waste matter from baby's tim in the womb. Subsequently, baby's poo will be a soft, mustard colour for breastfed babies, while formula-fed babies have slightly firmer stools. The number of times baby poos may range from once a day to pooing after every feed. Baby will also pee about 6times a day.

Birth Weight
The average newborn weighs between 2.7kg and 4.5kg. Boys weigh 3.5kg on average, compared to girls (3.2kg). Your newborn will lose up to 10% of his birth weight in the first few days, as newborns drink very little milk and pass meconium. After that, your child should gain weight at about 25g a day, doubling his birth weight by around 6mths.

Milestone Checklist

1-2 month
1. Personal & social skills - baby should be able to acknowledge faces and smile responsively

2. Fine motor skills - ability to put his hands together, grasp the rattle in hand and reach out for objects.

3. Language skills - responds to the sound of a bell and is able to vocalising instead of crying

4. Gross motor skills - able to lift his head and hold it at 45 degree angle

6-10 mths
1. Personal and social skills - gets excited at the sight of a toy and works to reach for it. Able to feed himself som crackers.

2. Fine motor skills - follows 180degree angle with no problem and is able to pass the cup from 1 hand to the other.

3. Language skills - baby can laugh and respond to soft sounds, single syllables and is capable of imitating speech sounds.

4. Gross motor skills - able to lift his head up to 90degrees and sit with head steady. able to be pulled to sitting position with no head lag. rolls over with no difficulty, bears weight on legs, able to keep his chest up with arm support, sits with no external support and stands with someone holding him.

15mths
1. Personal and social skills - can indicate his wants through gestures and drink from his own cup

2. Fine motor skills - has developed the pincer grasp and is able to scribble and build a tower of 2 cubes

3. Language skills - baby can start mouthing words like 'papa' and 'mama', as well as identify certain parts of the body through speech

4. Gross motor skills - baby is strong enough to stand alone, walk steadily and do simple chair climbing.

http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/messages/578191/841439.html?1182088649

Decoding The Tears

Interesting! This is what I found out from a video clip, at the clinic while waiting for my check up :)

What the cries meant...

Neh = I'm hungry
Owh = I'm sleepy
Heh = I'm experiencing discomfort
Eair = I have lower gas
Eh = I need to burp

These cries are believed to be used by all babies from zero to three months old during the beginning of their language acquisition period.

More information on the Dunstan baby language is available online at www.dunstanbaby.com

>>> I actually used them when bb is borned, hmm I seem to understand the needs better.. or is it just my instinct??